After The Garden

(Adam and Eve enter stage left from behind some bushes. They are wearing leaves.Eve has a look of displeasure, and Adam is a pace or two behind her. Adam is periodically scratching stomach, legs, above and below leaf level.)

ADAM: Well this will be a good excuse to do some traveling. Don’t get me wrong the garden was nice and all but It’s good for us to get away together. Which way should we go first? How about west?
(Points toward audience. Eve keeps walking)
Okay, north is good. Eve, you haven’t said two words in the past four hours. Is something wrong?
(Silence)
Are you mad?
(Eve stops. Turns and glares at him)
What’s wrong? Did I do something?
(Tries to take her hand but she jerks it away)
What did I do?
(Eve turns and heads stage left)
Come on you’ve got to at least let me know what I did wrong? Did I say something wrong?
(Stops and glares)
What?

EVE: You know what you said.

ADAM: How should I know what I said if you won’t tell me?

EVE: I might just never speak to you again.

ADAM: What did I say!?

EVE: (Mockingly)
That woman You gave me, she gave me of the tree, and I ate.

ADAM: I didn’t say that

EVE: You most certainly did!

ADAM: I did not.

EVE: Look it up.

ADAM: Huh?

EVE: Genesis 3:12

ADAM: Okay, but I didn’t really mean it like it sounded. I only meant that…

EVE: Don’t try to weasel your way out of it. You never want to give me credit for helping, but just let one little thing go wrong and…

ADAM: One little thing huh? You call breaking the only rule we had one little thing?

EVE: Not so fast there buster. Who told you, you had to listen to me in the first place? Did I hold you down and shove that fruit down your throat?

ADAM: So I thought I told you not to hang around with the serpent.

EVE: Well he tricked me.

(These are optional lines. They were funny for us. I am 5 ft. 6 in. and played Adam. Our Eve is 6 ft. It brought a big laugh. Obviously it won't work for everybody)

ADAM: Well there you go then. I wonder why he didn’t come around trying to tempt me.

EVE: Probably because he figured you couldn’t reach the fruit.

ADAM: Hey wait a minute.

EVE: But besides, who said this was about me? Don’t you try to change the subject.

ADAM: Uh not so loud Eve. We really shouldn’t be fighting like this in front of the kids.

EVE: We don’t have any kids.

ADAM: Oh. That’s right. Well…

EVE: So if you think you can humiliate me in front of God like that and get away with it you’ve got another thing coming Mister. Not even a thought to my feelings.

ADAM: But Honey…

EVE: Don’t you "But Honey" me, you…

ADAM: But Sugar if you’ll just.
(Tries to take her hand)

EVE: I wouldn’t let you touch me if you were the only man on… Oh. Well never mind just keep your hands off me.

ADAM: Come on Eve, how long are you going to stay mad like this?

EVE: (Silence)

ADAM: Look, I’ll make it up to you.

EVE: Hmmph!

ADAM: I will. I promise!

EVE: Oh yeah? How?

ADAM: Well… I’ll toil the ground for you. You won’t have to do any of the dirty stuff.

EVE: Sure like that’s your idea. We both know that God’s making you do that. Tell you what How about if we change assignments. I’ll toil the earth and you give birth in pain.

ADAM: (Thinks)
I don’t know, don’t you think He’s mad at us enough as it is?

EVE: (Grudgingly)
Yeah you’re right.

ADAM: Ok, look I won’t leave clothes lying around, I’ll sweep the dirt. I won’t make any mother-in-law Jokes. Just please give me a hug?

EVE: Can I name the kids?

ADAM: Well, I don’t know…

EVE: Hey you got to name all the animals!

ADAM: You weren’t even here yet! I was handling everything all by myself y’know. (Under his breath) Sure was peaceful.

EVE: What was that?

ADAM: Oh uh, I was just reminding myself how lonely it was. Okay Honey, How bout if we name the kids together.

EVE: Well, okay. But I get to name the first one.

ADAM: How about we flip for it. C’mon lets go talk about baby names. Hey, what’s for dinner? (Heads stage left)

EVE: (Watches him leave, shakes her head)
That woman you gave me.

ADAM: From off stage Why is this itching so much? AAughh! Eve, Where did you get these leaves?

EVE:

Faces audience with mischeivous grin.
Adam?

ADAM:

What!?

EVE:

What's a mother in law?

ADAM:

Auuuugggghhhhh!!!!!

Eve exits

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